Ahern wins the lotto

Deer Bertie,

Remember that you have ta make sure ta account for the 10,000 pounds that, as I remember it, you did win from the lotto in the pub the other night. The Guvernmint might, as far as I understand the situation, come after ye and try ta tax it from ye or something and if they did do that and looked at your accounts or sumtin and the pounds wasnt in there then ye might be in trouble and then, as I far as I’m aware of the situation as, as, as, as, as, as it stands, you might have to think about making up an excuse about how you did win it legit like saying you won it off Fergie at a United match. Or on the horses or sumtin. Them lottos are always for the hospices in anyway so maybe could say that you did win it on the hospice then if a paper person asks you about it and you get mixed-up you can say they just heard you wrong. 

Anyway, don’t forget to write it down cos ye don’t want ta be looking stupit.

And remember that you’ll be needing to be having a tax clearence form still, just cos you did get one doesn’t mean your covered for the hole of your life, I think.

I know all dis cos I was thought it in UCD and London School of Finance (or sometin) and just cos I don’t have me name on a piece of paper from the Chartering Accountants place doesn’t mean I’m not a real accountant, as i understand it, so don’t believe them people who checked it out.

Regards

Mr Patrick B. Ahern

Charthered Accountant’s Clerk

Ireland

PS What’s plans with the buke stuff and the Guvernmint wanting to take the money back off of ye? And have ya heard from Ken Rohan’s lads in the last while?

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